Admissions
by Alauralen
Summary: Michael-Teyla. Set in The Kindred Parts 1 and 2, however there are spoilers for all of season four. Michael and Teyla find that there are consequences to their night of passion. This is how they deal with those consequences while having to make admission
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Set in The Kindred Parts 1 and 2, however there are spoilers for all of season four. Michael and Teyla find that there are consequences to their night of passion. This is how they deal with those consequences while having to make admissions, to themselves and each other.

**Author's Notes:** This is a continuation of a one-shot, _The Conception_, that I posted to Wraitbait and to the TeylaMichael community on Live journal. It is not really necessary to read it first, but for those over 17 who want to read it, that's where it is. My beta's internet is down, so she hasn't had the opportunity to look over this yet. I apologize for any glaring errors made.

_**Admissions**_

_**Chapter one**_

Michael sat staring intently at the monitor in front of him

Michael sat staring intently at the monitor in front of him. The sight of her after so long brought a surge of joy, love, and possessiveness sweeping through him. He finally had her, his Teyla. Not only was she with him at last, but she was pregnant. _Very_ pregnant. If his calculations of the human gestation period were correct, not only was she carrying a child, she was carrying _his_ child.

When he'd reached out and touched her mind, disguised as Kanaan, he'd been shocked to see her belly. The shock had soon been replaced with joy and the hope that her baby was his. He'd quickly counted the months that had passed since they'd been together and decided that it had to be his. He'd reached out and touched his offspring, safely encased in her womb. He was thankful that he hadn't waited any longer to call for her. His child may have been born on Atlantis and he would never have been able to see it. _The Lanteans would have made certain of that,_ he thought bitterly. He wondered briefly if it was a boy or girl before deciding that it didn't matter. It was _theirs_ and he'd know soon enough.

His musings were interrupted as Teyla began to stir to consciousness on the bed inside her cell. He deeply regretted having to put her there, but he knew her too well to not know that she would have tried to escape at the first opportunity that presented itself. He could not risk any of his hybrids hurting her or the babe.

_Besides,_ he thought confidently, _once she learns who the true father of her child is and where he people are, she'll choose to stay with me._

With a smile on his face and joy in his heart, Michael rose to go speak with his love.

--

Teyla awoke disoriented. She felt something familiar gnawing at her, but the fog in her mind would not let her pinpoint it.

Suddenly, memories of being captured by a Dart slammed home the reality of her situation. Sitting up as quickly as her advanced pregnancy would allow her, she took in her surroundings. Dread and fear filled her as she realized she was in a cell on a Wraith ship. As she took in the layout of the cell, she noticed that it was different from any other she had been in. It was almost as if the Wraith were trying to make her _comfortable_. Confusion filled her. What could possibly make them want to see to her comfort?

Sliding her hands over her belly, she decided that it did not matter what their motivations were. She needed to get out of the cell and off of this ship as quickly as possible for the sake of her son.

As she began to stand in order to look for any weakness in her prison to exploit, she heard footsteps approaching. Teyla moved to the web-like bars of her cell to better see who was coming. Again she felt the familiar presence, but had not time to consider it as a figure stepped in front of her.

"Michael!" She silently chastised herself for not realizing it was him sooner. She looked at him in astonishment. He was very different from the being he had been the last time she saw him. He looked so much more human. His face was very close to what it had been when he was Lt. Michael Kenmore. Yet, he still had some Wraith-like characteristics.

"Hello, Teyla." His face and voice were filled with so much affection that it took her by surprise. She unwillingly felt herself respond to the warmth and tenderness emanating from him. Feelings she thought she had buried when she found out she was pregnant with Kanaan's child resurfaced with a vengeance.

"What have you done to yourself?" she whispered as her eyes traveled down his body.

"I've been working on Dr. Beckett's retrovirus. I've been able to manipulate it to serve my needs." Teyla's eyes shot back up to his and then lowered when he raised his feeding hand. "As you can see, I no longer need to feed on humans."

He seemed very pleased that she was asking about the changes he had made to himself. She aggressively pushed her feelings for him aside, remembering the atrocities he had committed in order to achieve such a goal. Not only that, but he had captured her, endangering both her and her child in the process. She forced herself to feel nothing but anger and defiance.

"Why have you taken me?" she asked with more strength in her voice than she felt.

--

Michael's smile faltered for a moment at her sudden coldness, but he recovered quickly. He swallowed hard, trying to find the words that he'd practiced. Now that she stood before him, so strong and beautiful, he found them hard to recite. He decided to tell her only part of the truth right now, making sure that he was well out of her reach.

"I thought you would like to be reunited with your people. That is why I called out to you."

"_You!_ You are the one who took my people?" Anger dripped from her voice like venom and her expression could only be described as dangerous. "What have you done with them?"

"They are quite safe, for now."

Teyla's eyes narrowed suddenly, as though she'd just realized something. "You did not call out to me. Kanaan, the father of my child, contacted me and asked for my help."

Anger and jealousy ripped through him like a storm. "Kanaan had nothing to do with bringing you here." He stepped closer to her cell, watching her fall back a step at the rage on his face. "We are connected Teyla, you and I. I disguised myself as Kanaan and touched your mind with so much distance between us to bring you to me."

"We are _not_ connected. There has never been anything between us that could form such a link." She sounded sure of this, but he could see the doubt that clouded her eyes.

Deciding that reminding her would be better than trying to convince her with words, Michael forced himself into her mind. She cried out at the sudden invasion. He quickly brought the memory of them together to the forefront of her mind before she could fight him. He felt her resistance melt away as he reminded her of how it felt to have him touch her mind while bringing her to orgasm. He knew she was experiencing everything, as he did, including the way their souls touched and became one.

As soon as their souls parted in the memory, he pulled out of her mind. His chest heaved. His instincts told him to go in and take her, but he knew from touching her mind that she was in denial and not ready for it. He took deep breaths, willing himself to calm down. Even if she had been willing, he didn't want to risk hurting her or their child. He could wait until she recovered from giving birth.

He looked up at her. She was breathing just as heavily as he, but she wasn't looking at him. Instead, she stared at the floor. She looked like she was in shock. Backing up slowly, she sank onto her bed once the backs of her knees touched the edge. She was visibly trembling and he ached to go in and hold her. However, when she looked up at him in fear and horror, his anger returned full force.

"It really was you," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Yes," he hissed in reply. "From what I just saw in your mind, some part of you knew it. And you welcomed my touch. _I_ fathered your child. If you're so horrified now by your actions, perhaps you should have thought of the consequences when you allowed me, _asked me_, to take you."

Michael thought he saw hurt in her eyes as he turned on his heel and stalked down the hall. He felt an unwanted glimmer of hope in his chest. He ruthlessly crushed it, convincing himself that he'd only seen what he wanted to see.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I do not own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters from the show. sighs

_Admissions_

_Chapter Two_

Teyla sat stunned after Michael stormed away from her. His words had stung and even now rang in the silence that surrounded her. She could feel his anger and pain, which only added to her own. Her son kicked and moved within as if sensing his mother's anguish. She looked down and rubbed her hands across her belly soothingly as her tears began to fall.

What had she done to anger Michael so? She felt a surge of regret, though she was not sure what she had done to hurt him. She needed to speak with him. She had so many questions that he alone could answer. Had he been as human as he was now when they had created this child? Would her son look human? Or would he look more like his father did now?

She loved this baby more than she ever thought it possible to love another being. She did not care what his appearance would be. He was _her_ son. A shiver of dread and fear ran up her spine. _She_ would accept and love him unconditionally, but would her friends ever accept him when they learned who his father was? After Michael had kidnapped her people, would they? Could any of them welcome her and her son back into the fold knowing that she had willingly made love to he who they considered an evil enemy? Would they refuse to believe that she had been a willing participant in the conception of her son? Or would they choose to believe that she had been tricked or forced?

Every fiber of her being rebelled at the thought. As many complications and as much pain as the knowledge of her son's true parentage was sure to cause, she could not bring herself to regret what she had done. When they had joined bodies, minds, and souls, she had felt just how much he loved and adored her. Her baby was a product of that love. Michael had done many things that she found reprehensible, but she would force all of them to accept that she had not been violated. Even if it meant banishment from all those she loved and held dear.

--

Michael quickly made his way back to his observation room after his disastrous conversation with Teyla. Things had mostly definitely _not_ gone the way he'd planned. He could feel her regret, pain, and anguish. He focused on her pain for a moment making sure it was emotional, not physical. He wasn't ready for her to give birth. Not on the ship. They were headed to one of his outposts where he had prepared a birthing room. He'd actually ordered several to be made on different worlds. It was safer this way, just in case one of his enemies discovered one of his bases and he needed to quickly relocate Teyla.

Satisfied that she was not in labor, he sat in front of the monitor to watch her. He blocked her emotions, not wanting to feel how much she regretted that her child was his. Part of him longed to enter her mind to find out exactly what she was thinking. Perhaps her pain _was_ caused by his words. Maybe he really had not imagined the hurt look on her face after his outburst.

Another part of him, however, was afraid that his worst fears would be confirmed. He told himself that he didn't want to invade her privacy. He snorted at the thought. Watching her every move wasn't a violation of her privacy? Pushing away that thought, he told himself that he needed to watch her to make sure that she and the baby were alright.

Michael watched as she cried silently while rubbing her belly. He felt tears burn his own eyes as he convinced himself that she cried because of what she had done with him. He felt nothing but hate for everyone else, except his baby. _Their_ baby. He already loved that tiny creature within her, though he'd never met it. He cursed his weakness where Teyla was concerned. What had she done to cause him to feel so much for her? Why could she not bring herself to feel just as much for him?

Anger once again flared within him like a raging fire. If she wanted Kanaan so badly, then he would show her what he'd turned him into. He would show her how much power he had when Teyla saw her beloved Kanaan as nothing more than his mindless puppet.

He telepathically ordered Kanaan to her cell. Rising, he began to make his way back to her to watch her reaction in person. He felt a tiny twinge of pleasure because he was about to hurt her as much as she'd hurt him. The feeling sickened him, but he pushed it away, concentrating only on his anger.

--

Teyla sat, eyes closed, trying desperately to meditate. She urgently needed the calming quiet of a deep meditative state. Her emotions hurt her with their intensity, and her thoughts raced through her mind with a dizzying speed. She knew that the stress she felt was not good for her or her child, but she could not empty her mind, no matter how hard she tried. What would her friends think of her? Especially Ronon and John? What would her people think? Would they all be afraid of her son?

She heard approaching footsteps and opened her eyes. Moving as quickly as she could, she peered out of her cell, hoping it was Michael. If he had calmed down perhaps he would be willing to answer some of the questions that plagued her.

Waves of shock and surprise hit her hard, knocking the breath from her when Kanaan came into view. She was not sure how long she stood staring at his drastically changed appearance before she found her voice.

"Kanaan, what has he done to you?" He looked at her blankly, as though he had not heard her speak. "Kanaan," she said louder, trying to get through to him, "where are our people? Do you know?" He still continued to stare at her without responding. She was feeling increasingly desperate. She longed to slap him, wanting to force him from his trance so that he would answer her.

"Do not bother asking him anything." Michael stepped around Kanaan and into her sight. "I've turned your precious lover into one of my hybrids.

"You see, not only was I able to change my own DNA to suit my needs, I was able to adapt the retrovirus to turn humans into hybrids as well. Kanaan is now nothing but a mindless puppet, and _I_ hold his strings," he said vindictively.

Teyla felt a wave of nausea hit her and took a few deep breaths trying to fight it back. When she felt she could speak without being sick, she looked up into Michael's eyes.

"How could you do this to my people? How many have you changed? They have never done anything to you!" Her voice shook with the weight of her emotions. She had never felt rage and betrayal before.

--

Michael watched Teyla pale considerably after he told her what he'd done to Kanaan. She looked as though she may be ill and he instantly felt a great amount of guilt. However, when she looked at him with such betrayal and anger, he couldn't help but get angry in return. If she and the Lanteans hadn't changed _him_ and then betrayed _him_, then neither of them would be in the positions they were now in.

"It is quiet simple, really. I knew that if you possessed Wraith DNA, then it was very likely that others from you planet may also carry it. I needed samples from those who had Wraith genes to complete the retrovirus with which I've been able to turn humans into hybrids. I've built up an army of them. I will use them to destroy the Wraith once and for all." His eyes gleamed with foreseen victory.

"_How many of my people have you changed?"_ Teyla emphasized every word and, even though he was still attempting to block out her emotions, her anger, pain, and despair wrapped around him.

"I have only changed as many as I needed. I told you that your people were safe. I may have used some, like Kanaan," Michael glanced at him with disgust, "however, many of them are safe. I've seen to their every need."

She looked at him in wide-eyed disbelief. "You call being trapped, the Ancestors only know where, for _months_ while someone you have never seen before takes your own away randomly to experiment on as 'seeing to their every need?' What about their need to be free? What about their mental well being?"

"'_Their_ need to be free? What about _their_ mental well being?'" He stepped toward her, seething. "Did the Lanteans think about _my_ mental well being? Did they consider that _I _wanted to remain free?"

Guilt mixed with the anger on her face. "Michael, I had nothing to do with the decision to use the retrovirus on you. _I_ strongly protested the testing of it. They would not listen to me. There was _nothing_ I could do to stop them."

"When you knew how much trouble I was having adjusting, you could have told me the truth. When you knew that I _knew_ that something was wrong with me and that I didn't fit in, you could have told me. You claimed to be my friend and yet allowed them…" He looked over to Kanaan who was emotionlessly standing there like nothing more than a lifeless statue. "Go back to your station," he ordered. Kanaan immediately left.

He turned back to Teyla who gave Kanaan a fleeting glance before turning back to him. She looked at him desperately, her voice pleading for understanding. "I was under orders to tell you nothing. It broke my heart. I once again voiced my concerns that the experiment was wrong. So did Ronon. I told them that I did not know how I could go on lying to you. They did not give me a choice. _If _the retrovirus had worked as it was meant to, it could have been a peaceful end to the Wraith. They did not go out with the intention of hurting you or ruining your life."

"Didn't they?" he asked her bitterly. "They did not care about their test subject. All they cared about were the results that their experiment would yield. You claimed to be my friend. If you had truly cared anything for me, you would have defied the others and told me the truth when I begged for it. What has happened to your people and all the others I've experimented on is on your head, as much as it is on the heads of the Lanteans." He felt the pain of her betrayal all over again. The pain of it caused tears to once again burn his eyes. He longed to say more to her, to say everything he was feeling, to force her to tell him what she had been thinking. He shook his head, deciding that he would talk to her again when he was not feeling so lost. Turning, he left her to herself and her own misery.

--

The pain and bitterness on Michael's face pierced her heart. He looked as though he would cry. Instead, after shaking his head, he turned and once again walked rapidly away from her. She longed to call him back to her. She still had questions about her child and she needed him to understand why she had done what she had done to him. She knew instinctively that he would not come to her, no matter how much she pleaded for him to.

Feeling drained and defeated and more helpless than she ever had in her life, Teyla turned and walked back to her bed. She still felt quite sick to her stomach. She tried to quell the feeling, but it persisted, getting worse with each passing thought. Michael was right, what happened to her people was her fault. Though, she did not believe that it was for the reasons he gave. If she had just told him that she knew it was him when they made love. If she had confessed how much she felt for him, she may have been able to stop him from doing what he had done since then. She may have been able to change his mind and the course of action which he had chosen. Why had she not told him? What had made her go into such complete denial? Teyla leaned back against the wall as tears began to fall freely. She rubbed her belly as that was the only comfort she had at the moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: ** Still don't own the show or any of the characters.

_**Admissions**_

_**Chapter Three**_

Michael went to his personal quarters instead of back to his observation room. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he placed his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Teyla had been so adamant about not wanting to participate in his capture and experimentation. He did believe her; he just couldn't help but wish she had defied the others and told him the truth. However, he understood why she didn't. She had chosen to place her trust in them and she was far too dedicated to her duties to disobey a direct order, even one she didn't believe in.

He sighed, straightening up and running his hands through his hair. He had known she would be angry that he'd experimented on some of her people. Maybe he should have foreseen just how furious she'd be. He had believed that, because he'd only used a handful of them, she would understand. Apparently, he'd been very wrong.

Lying back across his bed, Michael placed his hands beneath his head. He hadn't used the Athosians he knew she was closest to. Such as the one called Halling and his son, Jinto. Next time he spoke to her he would make sure to point that out to her. The only one he used that she deeply cared for was Kanaan, of course.

He had quite a bit of trouble deciding what to do with that one. Kill him on principal, or use him to further his experiments. In the end, Kanaan's Wraith genes had been the only thing that saved his life. Besides, he couldn't deny the pleasure he got from having complete control over the one who had touched_ his_ Teyla. Anger and jealousy filled him. Perhaps he would still exterminate Kanaan.

He forced his thoughts back to Teyla. Did she really not understand that he had kept her people safe? If he had not taken them they could have fallen victims to a culling or been destroyed by the Replicators.

He snorted. He had heard about the Lanteans reinitializing the Replicators program to destroy the Wraith. Undoubtedly Dr. McKay's doing. It _may_ have been a good plan, _if _they hadn't begun annihilating entire human civilizations in order to take away the Wraith's food source. He doubted that they even had a plan to stop the Replicators once they had finished what they wanted them to. Leave it to the Lanteans to take a bad situation and make it worse. They truly excelled at failing spectacularly in most of their endeavors.

There was a knock at the door, pulling him from his musings. He got up quickly and moved to the door. No one on this ship would dare disturb him here without good reason. When he opened the door, one of his hybrids stood before him, holding a bowl of food.

"Yes?" He thought he knew what this was about, but he wanted to hear it, anyway.

"Master, the Athosian woman is refusing to eat," the hybrid told him in a dead, emotionless voice.

Sighing, Michael took the bowl from him. "I will deal with her. Go back to your duties."

He noticed that the hybrid had not gotten a spoon for the bowl of food. His annoyance rising, he walked to the kitchen to retrieve one for her. He would force her to eat if he had to. If he was unable to without hurting the child, then he would not be above taking drastic measures to ensure that she got the nutrition she needed. He could not let her weaken herself. She was very close to giving birth. He knew how painful, exhausting, and potentially dangerous human childbirth could be. Upon finding out she was with child, he made sure to find out as much as he could. He would not risk losing either Teyla or the baby just because she wanted to defy him. He loved them both too much.

After getting the desired utensil, he swiftly made his way to her cell. She did not rise to meet him or even acknowledge his presence. He sighed as he studied her. She was looking down at her belly as she caressed it. Her hair fell like a curtain in front of her face, hiding it from his view.

"I was told you are refusing food."

"I am not hungry." Her voice was so soft he barely heard her.

Frowning, he wondered if she thought he was drugging her food. He certainly did not want to experiment on _her_. "Teyla, your food is not drugged."

That got her attention. She looked up at him with a frown of her own. "I did not even consider that it could be."

His annoyance grew. She was pale and obviously hurting herself by not eating properly. "Do not starve yourself to spite me. Think about the health of our baby."

She looked taken aback for a moment before narrowing her eyes. "You truly think I would endanger our child out of spite?" Her voice was filled with irritation, but not as strong as usual. Suddenly, she closed her eyes. Laying her head back against the wall behind her, she began taking slow, deep breaths. "I am not feeling well, Michael."

His annoyance was instantly replaced with concern. Was something wrong with her or the baby? Fear the likes of which he'd never before felt surged through his veins. Panicked, he moved his hand to the control panel to open the bars. He hesitated for a moment, looking back at her. What if this was just a ploy on her part to try to escape? She seemed to be even paler than before. Feeling foolish, he realized that she could not change her pallor at will.

He swept his hand over the door control and impatiently waited for the bars to retract. Rushing to her side, he knelt before her. After placing the bowl on the floor beside him, Michael touched her forehead. Teyla opened her eyes and looked at him in surprise. Since she didn't recoil or attempt to move away, he moved his hand to cup her cheek. Her skin was not fevered, but cold and clammy. He didn't think one was any better than the other, though he didn't know for sure.

"Is it…" Michael trailed off, scanning his memory. He remembered being told something about human women feeling ill while pregnant. "Is it morning sickness?"

Teyla smirked slightly, apparently amused. "Some women do experience that aliment throughout their pregnancy. However, I have not suffered from it for some time."

"Then what is it? Is something wrong with you or the baby? When did you begin feeling ill?"

Teyla looked uncertain and hesitated before answering him. "During our last conversation," she admitted.

--

Fear, concern, and confusion filled Michael's face. Teyla did not want to lie to him, but she did not want to start another argument, either. Deciding he would know if she was not truthful, Teyla reluctantly said, "I am disgusted with us both."

He looked instantly hurt, almost immediately followed by furious. He snatched his hand away from her face and made a move to rise. She grabbed his hand in both of hers, stopping him. "Michael, wait! Please, allow me to explain before you leave angry again." He looked at her hands holding his own. Raising his eyes to meet hers, he nodded his agreement to stay. Relieved, Teyla closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts so that she could make herself as clear as possible.

Opening her eyes, Teyla looked directly into his. Though it was apparent that his feelings were hurt and he was still angry, he was looking at her attentively. "Michael, you were right when you said before that what happened to my people was my fault. Though, I do not believe that it is because of what was done to you by the others." He looked as though he was ready to protest, so she held up her hand to stop him. "Please, allow me to finish before you speak." Frowning, he closed his mouth and waited for her to continue.

"You were also correct when you said that I knew on New Athos that it was you I was with, not Kanaan." He looked surprised at the revelation, but did not try to interrupt her. "I had known all day that there was something not right with Kanaan. I felt your presence. However, I could not bring myself to call you on it. I denied what I felt. When we made love and we were connected, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was you that was with me. I felt just how much you loved and cared for me. I was frightened by it, by all that I felt for you. I convinced myself that I wanted it to be you, but that it was not." She saw hope spark in his eyes and the affection he had so obviously felt when she had first saw him on this ship return. "I can not help but think that if I had admitted everything to you then, things would be different now. You may not have taken my people. We may have been able to find some kind of solution for you, for us. I am disgusted with myself for not having the courage to tell you.

"However, I am disgusted at you as well." The hope and affection in his eyes disappeared instantly and his body stiffened. "You had no right to take my people. How could you have done this to them when you know how much they mean to me? If you truly care for me as much as I had thought you did, how could you hurt me in such a way?" Tears formed in her eyes and she could hear the desperation in her own voice.

Michael leaned forward slightly. His eyes had darkened with the intensity of what he felt. "Teyla, I didn't take them to hurt you! I took them to _help_! Yes, I did experiment on some of them, but it was only a handful. Fifteen, that is all I needed. The rest of them are _safe_. If I had not taken all of them, they could have been culled or wiped out of existence by the Replicators. I have kept them safe for you. They have shelter, my protection, food, and clothing. I've made sure to see to their every need. I used people from other worlds to build my army; I just needed those with Wraith genes to finish the retrovirus."

Teyla looked at him incredously. Was the fact that he had used people from other worlds to turn into hybrids supposed to make what he had been doing better? She sighed deeply, looking away from him. How could she convince him, preferably without starting another argument, that was he was doing was very wrong?

She did have to admit that, though she mourned for those he had used, she rejoiced in the knowledge that most of her people were safe. She supposed in the strange logic he was using, when he kidnapped her people he was doing it out of love for her. Though it made no sense to her, she did believe that it made perfect sense to him.

She looked back at him when he began to speak. "I am going to make this universe a safe place, for you and our child. I will destroy the Wraith threat and you will never have to live in the fear you have felt since you were born." He looked down at her belly and then back up into her eyes with the fire of determination glowing in them. "Our baby will never have to experience any kind of fear. I will make sure of it."

Teyla considered his fervent words carefully. Perhaps, in time, she could use her and the child's influence on him to make him see the error of his ways. She would not argue with him now, she would wait for another opportunity to gently begin to persuade him. She knew that he was not an evil being, he just believed that what he was doing was necessary. She needed to convince him otherwise.

She gasped softly as the baby kicked and moved. Glancing down, she smiled. He was getting so big that it was uncomfortable for her when he was very active. However, she loved to feel him move. It let her know that he was healthy and strong.

Teyla looked up at Michael with a large grin. "Would you like to feel your son?"

His eyes widened. "My son? The child is a boy?" The look of happiness on his face was beautiful. He stared at her belly as she guided his hands to the place where he could feel the baby easiest. The baby kicked at his father's hands, as though he could sense him. Teyla could not help but feel pleasure in the wonderment on his face as he felt his child move for the very first time.

--

"He's so strong," Michael said after holding Teyla's belly for a while. Suddenly, he remembered the reason he'd come in here in the first place. Teyla needed to eat to keep both of them strong.

He reluctantly removed his hands from her and picked up the bowl of food from the floor. She had more color in her face now. Perhaps it had just been the stress she felt that made her feel ill. Looking at what he held, she gave him an apprehensive look.

"You must eat something. You can not let yourself become weak. Our son," he paused to savor those words before continuing, "will be here soon. You will need all of your strength for his delivery."

"Michael, it does not look very appetizing."

He sighed in agitation, but decided to be diplomatic with her. Anything to ensure that she ate at least a little. "I have made sure that all the nutrients that you and the baby require are in this. It may not be what you're used to, but I promise to try to get you something more to your liking when we reach our destination. _If_ you eat some of this now."

He scooped up a small amount onto the spoon and held it to her mouth. Though it had been hot when he brought it in, it had cooled off. It wasn't cold yet, so he hoped that it wouldn't be too offensive for her. He was suddenly struck with the memory of when she had fed him in much the same way. Of course, he'd been tied to a bed at the time, but she had still tried to help ease his hunger. From the look on her face, she was remembering it as well.

Teyla slowly opened her mouth and took the first bite. It must not have been as bad as she had feared because she swallowed and allowed him to feed her another spoonful. He managed to get her to eat almost the entire bowl with some encouragement. He was relieved and made a mental note to try to get supplies when they stopped, as he'd promised.

She tried to stifle a yawn, but he clearly saw it. She needed to rest, but he was reluctant to leave her here in this cell. He sighed and studied her intensely for a moment. If he could get her to promise him that she would remain put, then he could let her out. He knew that she would not go back on her word.

"Teyla, I do not want to leave you in here." He paused and sighed, frowning as she instantly perked up. "If you give me your word that you will not try to run away and that you will remain in my quarters, I will take you there now. I promise not to make any advances. My quarters are much more comfortable than this cell and I'll know that you're safe there. You can bath, rest, meditate, whatever you want. No one will disturb you as I will be the only one allowed to enter."

"I understand and I promise not to leave the room or try to escape." She looked directly in his eyes and he knew that she was telling him the truth.

He got up and helped her to her feet. He led her through the halls before finally stopping at his door. He opened it with a wave of his hand across a control panel and waited for her to enter. Doing so without hesitation, she paused in the middle of the room and looked around. He followed her in, closing the door behind him.

When she turned to him with a small smile on her face, he felt suddenly nervous. He began fidgeting and moved to the closet to retrieve what he had brought for her. They'd spent so much time arguing since her arrival, he hadn't had a chance to give it to her yet. Now was the perfect time. He just hoped she liked it.

Turning around with what he knew was a shy smile, he held out his hands. Teyla gasped in surprise, taking in the sight of the Athosian maternity dress he'd brought for her. She looked up at him with a smile that lit up the entire room. "I knew that you would not have anything when you got here. I asked one of the Athosian women if they had anything that you could use. When she found out that it was you that I wanted it for, she asked me for material and made this for you herself. Do you like it?"

"Yes, it is beautiful." She hesitated, clearly wanting to ask him something. She must have decided against it for she smiled again. "Thank you, Michael. Where is the bathing room? I would like to take a long, hot bath."

Michael flushed slightly as an unwanted thought of her in the bathtub entered his mind. Quickly pushing the image away, he pointed at the open door across the room. "It is through there. I took the liberty of gathering a few things that you might need. You'll find everything in the cabinet to your right. I'm going to the control bridge to see how long it will be before we arrive at the planet we're headed to. We'll only be there long enough to pick up a few things, then we'll set course for the planet where your people are."

Teyla looked elated at the thought of seeing her people again. "Thank you, Michael."

He nodded before turning and exiting the room. He walked down the hall deep in thought. After how upset she'd been when he'd told her about her people, he knew that she'd be unhappy when she saw who it was that they were picking up. Sighing, he knew that he'd have to tell her about his clone of Dr. Beckett _before_ he was brought to her. He hoped that she'd be happy to see him. After all, he'd hear from the Athosians that the real Dr. Beckett had been killed in a freak explosion. Perhaps she'd be happy to have a piece of him back in her life. He thought it highly unlikely that she would be happy about him cloning the good doctor, but maybe, just maybe her happiness at seeing him would temper her anger toward _him_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, still don't own anything having to do with Stargate: Atlantis.

**Admissions**

**Chapter Four**

Teyla walked into the bathing room after Michael had taken his leave. Though she doubted he would invade her privacy, she felt the need to close the door behind her. She wondered who had been kind enough to make the dress for her. Did they know that it was Michael's child she carried?

Sighing heavily, she opened the cabinet he had directed her to. Inside, she found Athosian undergarments as well as shampoo, soap, lotion, and a soft bristled brush. All were made by her people and in the scent that she preferred to use. She felt touched at his thoughtfulness and made a mental note to thank him when he returned.

After removing a large, fluffy towel, she turned to the bathtub and began to run a hot bath. As much as she longed to soak for a while, she suddenly realized just how tired she was. There was a device built into the wall of the tub similar to the showers in Atlantis. After quickly figuring out how to turn it on, she undressed and carefully stepped in. The hot water soothed the tense muscles in her shoulders as she stood under the spray, just letting the water lull her for a few minutes. She then quickly washed her body and hair. Stepping from the tub, she dried off and wrapped her hair in the towel. After applying the lotion, she put on the undergarments and the dress. Though he had not had her measurements, everything fit perfectly. She looked at herself in the full length mirror he had placed in the room. She was fairly certain that it had been put there for her. The dress was low cut and tight in the bodice, before flaring out around her belly, and falling to her ankles. The earth tones in the dress matched her skin color.

She took down her hair and brushed it out. She would normally have towel dried her hair better, but her eyes were growing very heavy. Exiting the bath room, she looked around for Michael. He had yet to return. A surprising pang of disappointment moved through her. Making her way to the bed, _his_ bed, she laid down. The pillow on which she rested her head smelled like him. She breathed in deeply, feeling comforted by his familiar sent. Before she was even aware of closing her eyes, Teyla fell into a dreamless sleep.

--

Michael had spent about a half an hour on the control bridge before making his way back to his quarters. He hoped he had given Teyla enough time to relax and bathe in privacy. Arriving at his door, he took a deep breath before opening it. The room was dimly lit, but, with his enhanced, Wraith-like sight, he could clearly make out Teyla's form. She was lying asleep in his bed. He hesitated, not wanting to wake her. The urge to stay and just watch her got the best of him. He crept into the room as quietly as possible. After closing the door and locking it, he went to the desk not far from his bed. He sat down on the chair and stared at her.

She'd put on the dress he'd brought for her after her bath. It complimented her skin color and showed the beauty of her pregnant form. Her face was relaxed, making her look peaceful and very beautiful. Her damp hair was splayed out behind her across the pillow. She had one arm curled under the pillow on which her head rested and the other draped over her belly.

How many times had he dreamt of having her in his bed? How many nights had he awoke, covered in sweat and aching with such burning desire for her? He had tried to relieve his own physical discomfort. The first time. Though he'd found release, it had done nothing to sate his need for her. It was as if she had permeated every cell of his being when they'd been together and when she was no longer with him, everything he was yearned for her return. He'd never bothered to try to give himself relief again, knowing the futility of it. He'd lie there, where she was now, and fight to control himself. In those tortured moments in the dead of the night, he'd desperately wanted to reach out and touch her mind, if only for a moment. But, he knew that he couldn't risk it. He had to be able to call her to him when he was ready for her. If she felt him touching her mind from so far away, she might panic and tell the others. They would never have allowed her to leave Atlantis when he called to her and then everything he'd fought so hard to accomplish for her would be for not.

He shifted uncomfortably as his body responded to his erotic thoughts and his pants grew tight. Forcing his thoughts away from such things, he thought of how eager he was to get Dr. Beckett on his ship. The sooner he gave Teyla and his son a clean bill of health, the better. Michael was fairly certain that her earlier illness had been entirely stress-related, but he would feel better hearing that from someone trained in these matters.

He hated to admit just how relieved he was that he had someone with his clone's extensive knowledge at his disposal. He may hate it, but he wasn't too proud to admit it. He had no idea what to do for her when she was in labor. Beckett had explained, in great detail, as he'd requested, what would happen. He also explained all the things that could go wrong and cost one or both of them their lives. He shuddered in fear and dread. He could not loose either of them. He needed Beckett to ensure that Teyla and his son would survive and be healthy.

He felt the ship drop out of hyperspace. He regretted that he had to wake her, but the time of reckoning was here. Sighing, he studied her peaceful expression one last time. The peacefulness was about to be replaced with anger as soon as he told her about his clone.

Suddenly, before he could make a move toward her, an explosion rocked the ship. He barely caught himself, managing not to fall flat on his face. Teyla had woken up with a cry of fear and surprise.

_Raise the shields! Return fire! Who is attacking us?_ he yelled into the minds of his hybrids on the bridge.

"Michael, what is happening?" Teyla asked as more weapons fire rocked the ship.

He raised a finger to silence her. _We have already raised the shields and are returning fire. The Lanteans' ship called Daedalus was here when we exited hyperspace._

Fury filled him. _Set a course for the base where the Athosians are. Jump into hyperspace as soon as you can. I'm on my way._

He was almost to the door while telepathically communicating with the control bridge when he once again he heard Teyla's frantic voice. "Michael! What is going on?"

He turned to see her attempting to get out of the bed. "Remain here! The Lanteans are here with the Daedalus. I must get us out of here before they destroy this ship!" He knew that his anger filled his voice, but he didn't have time to explain to her who it was really directed at. Hopefully, she would know without him having to clarify it later.

He quickly exited the room and took off at a run for the bridge. He desperately hoped that the hyperdrive hadn't been damaged before the shields were raised. He felt the ship enter hyperspace just as he reached his destination. He sighed in relief.

_Teyla, can you hear me?_

_Yes, Michael, I can._

He sighed again. She sounded surprised at this kind of communication, but he heard the anger and hurt she tried to hide. _I'm sorry that I was so abrupt with you. I was afraid that you would be hurt. We've entered hyperspace and are headed for the planet where your people are. We should be there in an hour or so. I must see to the repairs of the ship and then I'll return to you. Try to get some rest. Do you need anything?_

_No, I am fine. Thank you._

_I'll be there as soon as I can. _

He broke the connection and began fuming. How did they find his base? They must have allies that he knew nothing about. The thought disconcerted him. How many other bases had been compromised? He had no idea what to do now. They had almost _killed _Teyla trying to get her back.

He took deep breaths, attempting to calm himself before he succumbed to the blind rage threatening to consume him. Once he felt himself back in control, he decided that he would take her to the world they were headed for. It was highly unlikely that they would find that base after searching for it for so long. He was angry that they had found his clone of Beckett. He knew of no other doctors. And he was sure that none in this galaxy knew anywhere near as much as Beckett. Perhaps one of the Athosian women was a… Midwife? He believed that was the term. He would need to find out as soon as he got there.

Looking over the consol, he began issuing orders for repairs. The first volley had done some damage, but the shields had protected the ship from the rest of the weapons' fire. It could have been much worse. Much worse.

--

As soon as Michael rushed out of the room, Teyla rose to follow him. She was angry that he had dared _order_ her to stay here, and she wanted to see for herself exactly what was happening. She paused at the door, the only thing stopping her was the promise she had made to him to stay here. She was not the type to go back on a promise if she could help it. The warrior in her could not stand to stay here and do nothing. The safety of her child and herself hung in the balance. Not to mention Michael. And what of her friends? Were John, Ronon, and Rodney aboard the Daedalus? Would her friends destroy the ship that her family was on or would Michael kill all of her friends?

Teyla felt the ship enter hyperspace. She had not heard or felt a large explosion so she desperately hoped that the Daedalus was not badly damaged.

Teyla jumped when she heard Michael's voice in her mind. _Teyla, can you hear me?_ He had not tried to communicate with her in such a way since her arrival and, now that he did, it surprised her.

Teyla straightened her back and shoulders in pride. She would not let him know just how much he had hurt her feelings or how angry she was at him. At least not right now.

_Yes, Michael, I can._

_I'm sorry that I was so abrupt with you. I was afraid that you would be hurt. We've entered hyperspace and are headed for the planet where your people are. We should be there in an hour or so. I must see to the repairs of the ship and then I'll return to you. Try to get some rest. Do you need anything?_

_No, I am fine. Thank you._

_I'll be there as soon as I can. _

She felt him pull away from her after that. He had apologized and she would soon see her people. She should just let the incident go, but she could not allow him to believe that ordering her around was acceptable behavior. They would need to talk when he returned.

Teyla began to pace the length of the room, deep in thought. One of her thoughts just before the jump into hyperspace had been that her friends might hurt her family. And now she was considering talking to Michael about his treatment of her. When had she stopped thinking of herself as a prisoner? When had she begun thinking of the three of them as a family? Why had she not been more hopeful that her friends would get her and her child off of this ship?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still don't own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Stargate: Atlantis or any of the characters.

**Admissions**

**Chapter Five**

Teyla continued to pace and ponder the many questions rolling around in her mind until Michael entered the room. She was frightened by the answers that she had found deep in her soul. She had no idea how her friends would react if and when she ever saw them again or how her people would respond when they were reunited. She knew that she would not be able to keep this from them. She owed them the truth, to admit to her fellow Athosians that it was her fault that they had been put through such an ordeal. Not to mention the fact that she had already decided to tell her friends the truth if only to spare Michael from being unduly accused of violating her.

When Michael entered the room she spun around and glared at him. She held her head high and straightened her back and shoulders. Determined to remind him that _she_ was not one of his hybrids until his control, she prepared herself for the argument to come. As soon as he looked at her, his happy expression faltered and his shoulders slumped slightly. He obviously knew what was coming.

"The repairs are almost completed and we should arrive my base were your people are soon."

Narrowing her eyes, she snorted at his tactic to try to postpone the inevitable. "How badly was the Daedalus damaged?" she asked, deciding to play along. After all, she did want to know how her friends had fared and if they could be hurt.

Michael sighed. "They were ready for us when we exited hyperspace. Their shields were in place and the battle didn't last long, so I don't believe they suffered much damage or any casualties."

"And how much damage did we sustain?"

"There was a small hull breach on one deck, but it was kept in check by the shields. They _tried_ to disable the hyperdrive, but we evaded their weapons fire and were able to enter hyperspace."

"Good." She stepped toward him. He looked as though he considered stepping back, but held his ground. "Do not ever attempt to give me orders again. I am not one of you creatures. You do _not_ control me."

"Teyla," he said in a placating tone, "I do understand that. I was worried that you and our son would be hurt."

"You could have just as easily _asked_ me to remain. I did promise you that I would stay in this room. There was no cause for you to be so harsh with me." Teyla knew that he was truly sorry for what he had done, but her fear and insecurity bubbled to the surface. She knew she was wrong for taking it out on him, but she could not seem to stop herself.

Michael began to look more annoyed with her than remorseful. "I'm sorry, Teyla. I said that I knew I was wrong already." He paused, studying her for a moment. "What is this really about? You are not one to hold such a grudge when someone has sincerely apologized, so what is it that is truly upsetting you?"

Shock instantly filled her. When had he become so intuitive? They did have a bond, so perhaps he could read what she was feeling even though he was not in her mind? She knew she was gaping at him and snapped her mouth shut. His expression let her know that he understood from her reaction that he was right.

Turning around, Teyla felt her emotions rage through her unchecked as she was unable to control them. Tears filled her eyes. She longed to tell him of her fears regarding her people's reaction to him being the father of her son. Could he handle that knowledge? Or, would he become angry with her once again? She suddenly realized if things went as badly as she feared they might, he would be the only person left who still loved her. Her tears spilled down her cheeks and she knew she had to learn to confide in him.

She could feel him standing patiently behind her, waiting for an answer. Clearing her throat, she tried to wipe away her tears. "I am sorry, Michael. I was taking out my fears on you and it was wrong of me." Her voice broke and more tears began to flow.

He closed the small distance between them. Gently, he urged her to turn around. Placing one hand under her chin, he tilted her head up. They locked eyes and he cupped her face, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. Concern was etched all over his face and shone in his eyes. She could feel his worry coming off of him in waves.

"Why are you so afraid?" His voice was soft, but filled with intensity. She averted her eyes and tried to turn away again. Michael grabbed her upper arms gently, keeping her in place. "Teyla, tell me what is wrong, please." He conveyed such urgency and near panic with those few, simple words that she almost sobbed.

"I am afraid of what my people will think of me when they find out what I have done." She knew she was still being evasive, but she was unwilling to hurt him.

He dropped his hands from her arms. She looked up at him. The pain on his face clearly showed that he had read between the lines and understood exactly what she meant.

This time he turned away from her. "I see."

Despair filled her at the pain she had so clearly caused him. Her tears now came in earnest and, though she tries, she could not hold back the strangled sob that escaped her.

--

Michael had turned away from her, unable to bear to look at the misery she was in. He closed his eyes and grimaced when he heard her sob. He could feel her emotional turmoil. Fear, sorrow, and regret were at the forefront of many others.

Doubt and his own insecurities plagued him once again. She had said in her cell that she did not regret being with him or the fact that he was her child's father. Could she have been lying to him? Bitterness filled him at the thought. He looked back on his memory of their conversation, studying her words and actions. He sighed softly. No, she had been sincere, he was sure of it.

All of her pain really was caused by her fear of being rejected by her people. How could he of all beings fault her for that? His bitterness grew, swelling in his chest and making it almost difficult to breathe. He knew all too well how it felt to be viewed with disgust and scorn by those he'd known his entire life. The way his beloved Queen had looked at him, with such revulsion. Tears clouded his vision and the old pain of his disgrace choked him anew.

He took a deep breath, forcing painful memories away. Straightening his shoulders in determination, he vowed to himself that his Teyla would never experience the same thing. He would protect her from their condemnation. He had not saved the Athosians for her just to have them hurt her in such a devastating way.

Knowing what Teyla needed to do to be accepted back, Michael turned sideways. He could not bring himself to look at her directly, but he could see her with his peripheral vision. She was still crying and staring at him. She looked more defeated than he had ever witnessed or thought possible for her. He longed to pull her to him and comfort her, tell her that everything would be alright.

Michael sighed again and stayed where he was. "Teyla, you don't have to tell them that I am your baby's father. Let them continue to believe he belongs to Kanaan." He choked out the name. Pain coursed through him. He wanted to be able to proudly claim his son, the same way any other would. His vision clouded again.

"Michael, I can not do that!" Teyla sounded completely horrified at the thought.

"Then tell them that the child is mine. Make it sound as though I…" he swallowed reflexively. What he was about to say made him nauseous, but it had been his original intent, even if he hadn't seen it as such at the time. "Allow them to think I violated you, tricked you into thinking I was Kanaan. After all," he said bitterly, "that is what I tried to do."

"Michael!" If she'd sounded horrified before, she sounded positively panic-stricken now.

"What?" he roared, turning to look at her. She jumped at his outburst and he immediately regretted it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at her again. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell at you. This is the only way I can think of that will ensure your welcome. It isn't even a lie." He smiled with regret. "I did disguise myself as Kanaan. I went to New Athos because I needed to be in your presence. In my desire to be near you, I never considered that I would be violating you." Teyla took a step toward him. She mouthed a soundless, "No," while shaking her head in denial. Though her eyes were swollen from crying and tears continued to stream down her face, she had such an incredible, vulnerable beauty.

"You know as well as I do that it is the truth." He turned his back on her as his own tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He felt her hand on his upper arm as she forced him to turn back to her. He was momentarily amazed at the strength she retained, even in her advanced stage of pregnancy.

"I told you that I knew it was you." She looked fierce and determined. There was a steely strength in her impassioned whisper. "You did not violate or trick me and I will _not_ allow anyone to think otherwise."

He grabbed her again. The guilt he'd been repressing since that night needed to be released. He had to make her understand. "I didn't _know_ that you knew. _I_ took your body and invaded your mind out of my own selfish desires. I never gave a single thought to how you would feel when you found out how you would feel when you found out what I'd done. Not until after—a long time after."

A single tear fell from his left eye and he turned his head, not wanting to see the horror and revulsion his confession was sure to induce. Teyla's hand rose toward his cheek and he flinched slightly, expecting a blow. Her hand recoiled at his reaction, but quickly moved back to cup his cheek tenderly. With soft pressure, she turned his face back to look at her.

As he'd done with her, she wiped away his tear with her thumb. "I do not believe that some part of you did not realize I knew. There were many times that night when you looked at me with uncertainty and a bit of fear. In those moments, I know that you perceived my awareness of you."

Her small hand slipped to the back of his head and she pulled his mouth to hers. He was so surprised at the action that it took him a moment to respond. The kiss she gave him was soft and tentative. Growling low in the back of his throat, he pulled her to him. When he felt her swollen belly, he was able to resist the urge to crush her body against his.

Putting his hand through her soft hair, he cupped the back of her head. A need that only Teyla could evoke drove all logical, rational thought from his mind as his body responded. She parted her lips as he hungrily kissed her and he plunged his tongue in to taste her. With a moan, she met his tongue with her own, caressing and dueling with him. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to lay her on his bed and worship every inch of her.

Teyla whimpered, clinging to him, her need as powerful as his. She tried to get as close to him as possible. It was not the easiest feat with her very pregnant belly between them.

Suddenly, it was as though someone had thrown cold water over him. Pregnant belly. Very pregnant belly. He couldn't make love to her now, he could hurt them. He broke the kiss and straightened up quickly, breathing raggedly and trying to fight his needs and desires. Teyla gasped softly at his sudden abandonment and looked up at him, confusion in her passion-darkened eyes. She was breathing as heavily as he, her breast heaving. She tried to pull his mouth back to hers, but he gently moved her hand from behind his head.

"Teyla, we can't do this." His voice sounded husky and lust-filled even in his own ears. He released her hand and placed his on her belly. She looked down, still confused. "You're pregnant, very pregnant. I could injure you or hurt the baby."

Understanding dawned on her face and she laughed softly. "Michael, human women can continue to make love with their partners, even late in pregnancy. As long as we are not too… rough, the child and I will be fine."

He studied her face for a few moments, struggling with himself. He knew she was being honest, but could he take the chance? He wasn't sure he could stop himself from being rough with her. His need for her was so intense he was actually amazed at his own restraint thus far.

No, he couldn't take the chance. He released her and backed away from her in the direction of the door. He had to get out of this room, away from her so that he could regain his control and composure.

"I can't guarantee that I can be gentle with you. I can't take the chance and hurt either of you. I would never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you." His back came in contact with the door and he swiped his hand across the control panel. "I'm sorry I got carried away. I should not have lost control."

With that, he backed out into the hall and closed the door. The last thing he saw was the astonished look on Teyla's face. He walked quickly to the sparring room, mentally calling a few hybrids to meet him there. He would work out his sexual tension by fighting until he was exhausted. Then he would go back to the room, shower, and fall into bed with her without having enough energy to attack her.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins, as potent as it had been when he was still in his room. He stripped off his clothes and changed into comfortable sparring clothes. If he hadn't been so intent on releasing his excess energy, he may have felt a bit sorry for the hybrids he was about to fight.


End file.
